Tweet Archive for November 2022

update: hoop was perfectly fine during a very vigorous blowjob, but was bested eating a burrito. must get better hoop, shorter stud is working though

one of my dildos fell on the floor and thumped so loud I thought my 8lb kettleball had fallen over

my bf, who got it for me, was like, “if an intruder came in you could bludgeon them with that”

we stan a man who protects his partner by equipping them with tools for self-defense pic.twitter.com/Qh0PYCUmsJ

sorry, error. to rly be IRB¹-sanctioned informed consent, I’d have to state, “it may be possible my jewelry might snag on your foreskin. this risk is small compared to the potential benefit to all human knowledge”
_________
1. which, ofc, stands for “Institutional Review Broad”

ensuring my experiments are performed with informed consent (“I changed my lip jewelry. this might make for a better blowjob. I would like to test this theory. will you be my test subject?” “YES OF COURSE *whips off pants*”)

RT @sqiouyilu: tired: writing the alphabet with your tongue while giving a blowjob and seeing which letter does the job

wired: memorizing…

@elaina_jay it’s not so much the onomatopoeia as it is the sheer volume and force of it 😂

update: confirmed, far more ergonomic; bf rated today’s blowjob on v objective scale as Best Ever, corroborated by noises he made that I’ve never heard; verified hoop did not scratch him

we have done a sientific method 💪🏻

another day of advancing fellationetic siense pic.twitter.com/Sq1eBnqTI2

my bf: *looks up in startled concern*

me: *referring to housemates in kitchen* oh, that’s just what sneezes sound like in chinese

I think it’s so funny that s.qiouyi.lu/repository/tim… contains both my academic timelines (built) and my body modification timeline (TK), but there’s no incongruity: there’s brain timelines and a body timeline and they are both equally S.